I was right when I wrote that I needed to change direction. I started off on the right foot with this blog, but apparently I’ve fallen smack on my face. This blog was started as an effort to chronicle my journey working from home, because it is a journey and because it’s damned hard. I wanted to focus my attention on that (with this blog), but about a little over a year ago I lost that focus.

Two days ago I received an email extending an invitation to apply for an online internship. I was very excited about that and put a lot of effort into 200 words—hoping that I would be chosen. I wasn’t. The email didn’t tell me that the potential interns should be internet marketing enthusiasts as well as WAHMs.

I am incredibly disappointed by that rejection but only because I’d gotten my hopes up. I didn’t realize that I should be a student of SEO and marketing when I applied, because that wasn’t made clear. I’ve learned from that experience as I’ve learned from others. I’m not going to change into a marketing student because of it, though. At least I’m not going to write about marketing because of it.

I feel that there are plenty of people writing about that subject. I feel the blogging community is inundated  with that subject. I couldn’t open my email without finding that a marketing “expert” was now following me on Twitter (That account was closed today, by the way. I’m redirecting myself.). I thought I was going to learn about marketing and how to expand my reach and… I don’t want to write about that stuff. I think if I’d have known that particular aspect of the internship I would’ve have just sent a “thank you” note and gone about my day without wasting the time applying.

I’ve been looking for ways to make more money while staying home. My eldest daughter has moved out and my youngest is getting to the age where writing about her just won’t be cute and endearing. I haven’t stopped being a mom, though. I have other interests, but am still a woman that wants to work from home.

I’ve already delved into the world of internet marketing, to an extent. I know what it takes to get the search engines to crawl your page faster, how to get your page to the top of the SERPs, how to get links and make a sale. I know where to put my ads if I want the most clicks. I know which topics to write about if I want the traffic. I know the importance of Page Rank and the reasons why Google will strip it.

I’ve already fallen for the hype that I should have more than one blog to be profitable online. And it’s not done me any kind of good. My focus and my writing has been hurt by that. I read that I should have a “niche” blog with tons of ads and that I should join this social network or that social network. I’m told to stuff my posts with keywords so that I get “organic” traffic. I’m told to comment with my keyword in my name and make use of do-follow blogs.

That’s all well and good. Except the people with whom I’d be networking in an effort to get their traffic are going to be writing about the same things. The people that care enough to make their blogs do-follow aren’t going to come clicking on anything on my blog. The only way that’s going to happen if I somehow convince some poor saps that I’m an expert. Even though I’m not.

Chipped Polish was an experiment when I first started out. And I was doing pretty good with it. But parts of that experiment have really drained me emotionally and artistically. I haven’t even bothered to redesign my site properly! I’ve been meaning to, but more fulfilling things have taken my time. I am still writing and working, but I’m not doing it here. I’m not chronicling it, because those that were interested aren’t interested in the person behind the blog. And now they’re not interested at all because Chipped Polish is both bland and a bad neighborhood.

Isn’t that funny?

Recently the company for which I do the majority of my work opened a Twitter account. It is protected and they announced they would only accept those that do work for them as followers. So, I sent a request for permission to follow. That was in March. Before I deleted that account I went back to check to see if I’d been approved (I didn’t remember seeing any updates from them).

Nope. Nada. Even those that give me work don’t want to be bothered with me. If that sounds a little whiny, it’s supposed to be. As far as why they never bothered to follow me back, I’m pretty sure that it’s because someone thinks I’m a spy for their competition. I’m not interested in that kind of idiocy, but this particular person is paranoid and no doubt believes me to have nefarious motives. Which is really funny because that same someone has no problem following my original online persona, who apparently is more trustworthy than me.

Isn’t that funny? Oh, you’ve read this far and now you’re curious? Now I have your attention?

At any rate, somewhere along the line I’ve compromised something. This persona has become distrusted in such a way that she’s believed to be a spy. I’m not exactly sure how that rumor came to be, but that’s ok. I’ve learned something. And Lizzie Flynn has learned something. I’ve learned that passion is the key and trustworthiness goes a long way—except for those with whom you are in direct competition. They will claw your eyes out and stab you in the back as soon as read a word you wrote. I’m not exactly clear when I became the foe, but I did. And now I’ve got to deal with the repercussions of that.

The good thing is that I, separate and apart, am not afraid to be confrontational and raise the hackles of others. I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I was experimenting with being professional and polite. And now I’m over that. I do my best work when I’m not overly concerned about hurting some poor sap’s feelings. I am more passionate when I’m not trying to impress the world with my professionalism. I’ve learned that being professional and making a difference doesn’t necessarily pay the bills when working online.

Depending on what happens in the next few weeks Lizzie Flynn may go the way of the wind. If I can figure out how to make this work, though, I will keep at it. I think, maybe, I’ll stop worrying about getting money from Chipped Polish and find other venues where I can explore my talent and passion. I’m not loving this blog right now because of the choices I’ve made, the people I’ve met and the focus I’ve lost—and I’m not sure if I’m going to continue with it.

P.S.

I’m not a spy for anyone. I don’t give a damned what two completely different companies are saying about each other. I’m just trying to live my own life. Occasionally I rubberneck, but there’s plenty to see. I’m reporting to no one. Perhaps a little less paranoia will go a long way to easing some stress, huh?

Updated Below

Apparently Google’s out smacking the hell out of blogs again (warning: that link goes to a really long forum thread). Everyone in that thread got smacked down to a PR 0. So did I. Woot! I’ve looked around and noticed that not everyone was effected this time.  There’s a huge uproar in the PayPerPost forums. People are wondering what they should do, what will Google’s next move be, where’s the money going to come from now? Of course, those hurt the worst were those that needed that little bit of extra income the most. Ah, isn’t that nice?

I’ve only just started paid blogging. I don’t spend a whole lot of time at it and only do it when the opp seems too good to pass up. Back when I was a PR 2 (hahaha!!!) I did a couple of higher priced ones, but generally I was too slow to get to them simply because everyone who had been slapped down was grabbing at them too. I’ve been keeping my options open and continued to do my own thing. I’m by no means rich from those couple of opps, but it’s nice to have that extra little bit of money in my account. That little bit of money goes up and down, but overall I’m still not wealthy. So I’m still going to take paid opportunities if they suit my fancy as well as doing other things.

I’m definitely not going to start letting Google give me fits now, after all this time of not knowing or caring about PageRank. I’m not going to boycott Google or ban them or give a damned about them anymore.  I’ll change only so much as going back to 3 months ago when I had no idea what was so special about PR.

I do see some people taking action to ease their PR woes, like removing paid links or adding nofollow. Some are even removing links to their own sites from signatures. It’s sad to see Google have that kind of effect on honest people just trying to make an honest buck. Go after the scrapers and the real splogs. Lord knows enough of them have trackbacked to this site since I joined the Do Follow movement. Yet there they are, full of adsense ads and other people’s content. Gah! They don’t care about PR and they’re getting Google’s money. Go figure.

There’s one bright spot to all of this. Costa at Blog Gigs has a really funny post up called “If Your PR Hasn’t Been Demoted, You Are a Square“. It’ll make you smile even if you’re crying. Way to lighten the mood, Costa. Thanks.

Update:

Please visit this post for an up-to-date opinion on this whole flippin’ matter.