Featured Post
Posted by Lizzie on Sep-5-2008
There’s a lot of talk about women’s issues this election cycle. Thanks to Hillary Clinton, and now Sarah Palin, we’re back in the spotlight. In that vein, Congress is pressing for a revote on the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which failed to pass previously. McCain has come out again it:
“I am all in favor of pay equity for women, but this kind of legislation, as is typical of what’s being proposed by my friends on the other side of the aisle, opens us up to lawsuits for all kinds of problems,” the expected GOP presidential nominee told reporters. “This is government playing a much, much greater role in the business of a private enterprise system.”
I’ve recently engaged in a half-hearted IT job search - in anticipation of my eventual graduation from the Tech program. There seems to be a little available, but I’ve heard that women are not treated favorably in the IT industry. It would please me, and thousands of other women, tremendously if this actually became law. Would I know that my male counterparts were making more than me? Probably not. But this act would give me recourse should I find out about a pay discrepancy after the fact. As a woman hoping to work in a male-dominated field, I would feel just a little better knowing I had a safety net.
There was some talk that this law isn’t necessary. I beg to differ. I worked with a company (unrelated to the tech field) that cut me a mystery check. When I inquired to what the purpose of the check was, I was told that it was to make up for a pay difference between me and my male counterparts. I had no idea that the men were making that much more per hour than I was, but there was a lawsuit and the settlement agreement was that this company would pay the hourly difference to each female for whatever period of time they agreed to (I think it was 3 months, even though I’d been there for over a year at that point). I left that company not long afterward, but my eyes had been opened. The reasoning for the lower pay was that women are mothers and so are prone to miss work because of their sick children. Men, on the other hand, are more reliable and should be rewarded. Really?
At a time when a major political party has nominated a self-proclaimed “hockey mom” to be vice president, there should be no more “she should get less because she’s a mom”. This woman is seeking a job while parenting 5 children (and potentially helping parent a grandchild) so the reason listed above would apply to her and her pay should be cut significantly. Right? No. Wrong. Her husband will be able to tend to the children while she runs for office and he can tend to the children while she continues to govern Alaska (except that he’s got a full-time job plus an extra job on the side in the summer, but that’s not this issue). It’s only fair that the rest of American women enjoy the same equality in pay as the women who govern them.
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Archive for the ‘Featured’ Category
May
13
Posted by Lizzie
Born at 7:09am May 9,2008. He weighed 5lbs. 8oz and was 18 inches long. I introduce my new grandson, KJ!
Pee Wee went to the doctor on Thursday and her blood pressure was way up. So we had to go to labor and delivery where she could be evaluated. Her BP spiked to 173\104. They decided to induce labor. We moved from triage to a birthing room and they commenced with the magnesium sulfate (to prevent seizures) and the pitocin. They inserted a foley ball, inflated it and waited for it to fall at- which would indicate she’d reached 3 cm. and that an epidural could be placed. It fell out within the hour. But there were so many babies coming on Friday morning that we had to wait for the anesthesiologist. Pee Wee labored like a champ for those few hours. She breathed fine, didn’t panic and didn’t start screaming and cussing. Finally she got her epidural and all was well.
Around 6:30am the doctor came in to check on her and noticed that the babies heart rate would drop with each contraction. They thought something like this could happen because of the combination of magnesium and pitocin, so they decided it was time to do a section. At this time she was 6 cm.
I was there when my grandson was pulled out at 7:09am. My daughter and I both cried when she heard him cry (I had already seen him placed on her belly, but she couldn’t see above the curtain). Then Pee Wee promptly fell asleep. I stayed with the baby until Pee Wee and he were ready to go to recovery.
She stayed until yesterday and I stayed with her. I have to tell you that I have a HUGE amount of admiration for post-partum support people (most often dads, of course). I didn’t sleep any more than she did while we stayed there. She needed a little more help than usual, of course, because of her incision. I helped her in every way that I could and she managed just fine. She’s having some issues with breastfeeding, but they gave her a hospital grade pump to help her get it going (she’s got large breasts and the swelling from the pre-eclampsia didn’t make that any better). Also, he’s a little “tongue-tied” so breastfeeding is a challenge for them both.
Mags is having a little difficulty adjusting to the new baby now. I try to give her the most attention and let Pee Wee tend to KJ, but when Pee Wee calls for help I go and, well, Mags doesn’t like that. So far I’ve had to pretend to pump my breasts, hold her like a baby, pat her butt, and show her pictures of her babyhood. I’m hopeful that she’ll get through this phase soon because she’s kind of driving me batty. 
Oma and KJ in the hospital chair.
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May
03
Posted by Lizzie
A few years ago we went to South Carolina and stayed in a Hilton Head rental. We stayed for a week and a half and I loved it. It was the best vacation I’d ever had. We had immediate access to a private beach, a pool and spent a lot of time strolling along the walking paths (like a sidewalk but different). Being so close to the ocean was calming for me and so I use my memories from there for meditation purposes.
There are many health benefits of meditation which include but are not limited to:
- Stress reduction
Meditating properly helps bring stress chemicals down to normal levels, eases anxiety, and for some people even cures phobias.
Neuroscientists have found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex - brain waves in the stress-prone right frontal cortex move to the calmer left frontal cortex. This mental shift decreases the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety.[source]
- Decreases blood pressure
See Above for why.
- Decreases muscle tension which can reduce the frequency and severity of headaches
Learning to recognize muscle tension through meditation is an excellent way of controlling chronic pain. Many people suffer from tension (stress) headaches and proper meditation can reduce that.
- Increases self-awareness
This can help with problem solving and issues with low self-confidence. Most meditation requires that you remove all thought from your mind and float in “nothing”. Because of emotional conflicts, the practitioner is forced to deal with issues s/he wasn’t aware of previously. Then the brain follows paths to a resolution to these conflicts, leading to higher levels of self-confidence. [source]
How Do I Do It?
Depending on what you read regarding meditation you are either supposed to empty your mind and completely relax or focus on something that relaxes you. It’s almost impossible for me to completely empty my mind. Just thinking about emptying my mind causes me to think about something. Obviously that method doesn’t work for me. And it may not work for you. My method may not work for you either, so take that into consideration if you try it.
First, I make sure that I have absolute solitude. I cannot be disturbed during my meditation. Because I’m a mom and wife, I have to make sure there’s no one home and the dog is outside. I go into a room with no phone and no television. Nothing to distract me from my meditation time.
Then, I put on a CD of sounds of nature. I particularly like the sounds of thunderstorms or waves breaking in the ocean. I try to limit the sounds of animals as they can be too distracting for me. I place a folded blanket on the floor and sit cross-legged on that. Then I close my eyes.
This is when I go back to Hilton Head. It’s a more complex type of meditation than what you may have read about elsewhere. With my eyes closed I imagine the blue sky above me. Then, if I’m using the ocean CD, I imagine looking toward the shore with the waves crashing against the sand. I imagine the smell of a salty breeze and the feel of fine sand under my legs. I use my mind’s eye to walk me from one sensation to the next until all of my senses are utilized.
When I’m at a place where I can almost believe I’m really on that beach in Hilton Head, I start to really relax. I start by relaxing the muscles on the top of my head and work my way down to my toes. I mentally find every muscle that is being used and relax it just enough (I don’t want to fall asleep or fall over). This is amazingly useful in finding those trouble spots that you didn’t know were troublesome. I imagine that each muscle is being smoothed over by a warm breeze. I do this for each part of my body, including my face and, yes, my ears.
Finally I’m completely relaxed and I let myself “walk” down the beach. When I was physically in Hilton Head, the early morning was the best time of day for me. I could walk on that beach and not be bothered by anyone- save for the occasional jogger. Since I was the only one in my family who enjoyed these walks, I was left alone with myself and Mother Nature. It was peaceful and I was completely content. It was a near-perfect experience for me. And so, when I meditate I take myself back there.
Today there is much emphasis on medications to ease your mind and calm your body. Many people still scoff at the “New Age” practice of meditation and refuse to contemplate it. But when you’ve exhausted the options modern medicine offers for stress-relief and pain management, meditation is really something to consider. Because, believe it or not, it really works.
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Apr
26
Posted by Lizzie
I was looking around for some forums for parent’s parenting teen parents (say that 5 times fast) and ended up with… zilch. There are a few places for parents of teens, parents of tweens and teens and parents wanting to pull their hair out because of teen issues (ZITS????). Where is the support for parents parenting teen parents? It’s a little frustrating for me because my issues is a tad bit different from what else I’ve seen online and I really feel the need to scream about it.
So, I was searching. Silly me decided to open every link on the search page in a different tab. Of course, that sucked up the ram and my browser shut down. When I reopened said browser I was asked if I wanted to restore the last session or start a new one. Without thinking I chose to restore. Boom! Same thing happed again. I had to give up. Which meant that I had to give up on my search.
I did find an interesting site called The Mom Bloggers Club. I signed up and maybe I’ll run into someone there with my same issue re: Pee Wee. We’ll see. I can’t be the only one struggling with this particular issue. Can I?
As it is, we’re coming into the home stretch with Pee Wee’s baby. He’ll be here soon. But I know she’s not mentally or emotionally ready for this. I know that she’s just not “getting” it. That scares me to death. I’ve already had a couple of nightmares about it. We have one year to shape her up and help her learn how to parent. One year. And then she’s on her own. What then? Good grief, I’m up to my eyeballs with worry. I’d like to think that she’s learning something from me by watching me with Mags. But she’s been arguing about my parenting technique a lot this past week or so. I should be doing this and not doing this and why aren’t I teaching her this…ARGH! She’s got a lot of opinions now- and she’s not afraid to shove them down my throat. Yeah, it’s a struggle. I remind her that I’ve got years of parenting experience on her and just because she’s growing a baby now doesn’t give her leave to preach to me. It’s a little bit of a fight. Just a tad. Enough, though, that I’ve been heard to say (a little loudly) “Calgon, take me away!”.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she stops with the parenting advice soon. If she doesn’t, well, I can’t make promises…:)
I love my child so much. But sometimes the struggles of helping her get ready to be a parent (I wasn’t ready for that, you know) get to be a little too much. Sometimes I just need to scream/holler/cry/curse and have someone not point at me and say something like “Well, her mom was young- what did you expect?” or “Why would you allow her to make that kind of decision? You should put that baby up for adoption” Those aren’t helpful and really make we want to lash out. That’s why I’d love to be around other moms who are going through this same thing with their child- even though they thought they raised their child to understand the dangers/pitfalls/disappointments of teenage parenthood.
If you know of any forums for this, please send me a link. I’d be terribly grateful.
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