Pee Wee will be graduating from high school early. She’s doing online courses so that she doesn’t have to find a sitter for KJ and that means she can go a lot faster than she could in traditional school. That also means that we’re looking at post-high school schooling (post-secondary?). She doesn’t want high school to be “the end”, but she’s not really looking to go to a traditional college right now (being a single parent is hard enough and now with this economy…). So we’ve been looking online for votech schools by state and other non-traditional post-secondary schooling opportunities. I took two years at a tech school back in the day, so I’m pretty sure she can do that without any problems.

She’s thinking about doing legal assisting or something computer related. I think both of those are good options for her right now. She could quite possibly get a job working for a bankruptcy attorney (bad pun, I know). Right now she’s looking at getting married and moving into her own apartment, but she wants to have some kind of career until she’s able to go to a regular university (I don’t mean that in a bad way). I think she’d do perfectly well at a votech school. I think she might even excel (considering her lack of interest in a lot of things, especially). I’m hoping she’ll find one not too far away from here, but if she wants to move out of state to be with her man (who has decided he’s going to be an air traffic controller) then that’s what she’s got to do. At least she’s weighing all her options. That makes me feel a lot better.

So, I wonder what the end result will be. Either way, I’m pretty sure I’ll be proud of her.

I was lying on the couch this evening and was just drifting off in that just-right sort of way when a commercial for a mesothelioma lawyer jarred me out of my sleep. It was a good thing too because I had to get my tail moving down to Lowe’s to find brackets for my closet shelf. Since some personal things have been happening within the family (outside of but related to Pee Wee’s decision to move out when she graduates) I’ve been “organizing” my closet. And by “organizing” I mean emptying out my dresser drawers and hanging everything in the closet. Sadly, the bar couldn’t hold all of those jeans (my friend’s old fat jeans) and it finally gave way. Oops. I had to go find something to reinforce it when I put it back up. Yes, by the way, I am going to keep all those jeans hanging there.

I also picked up a stackable shoe rack. It’s just the one part for now, but good grief we need it. Our downstairs closet is going crazy with all the shoes. I ask Pee Wee to please pick them up and take those she doesn’t need right now up to her room, but she promptly forgets that I asked her and there they lay. So, I’m getting a rack and putting those puppies on it. It’s a lot easier to install that thing than to keep fighting with my teenager. Honestly, I’m afraid of what her apartment is going to look like when she finally gets in it. Hopefully her fiance will be better at convincing her to pick up after herself than I am. Otherwise their baby might get lost in a heap of clothes and shoes.

Mags is away for the weekend with her grandparents. They’re traveling down to Kentucky to see some friends and relatives (of her grandfather). She’s been out-of-state with us before, so I wasn’t worried about the car drive. I just don’t like her being that far away without, well, me. I guess I’m selfish in that way. That’s my last baby and I want to be there with her all the time. It’s hard watching her grow more independent and going off on trips with her grandparents. She’ll be back on Sunday, but that won’t be soon enough for me. She’ll have a blast and not need me (much) but I’ll be biting my nails the whole time.

I feel so old with my girls growing up and spreading their wings. Granted, Mags won’t be flying the nest anytime soon, but she’s at the stage where she can go somewhere and not need her mama. That’s a little sad. And Pee Wee is all anxious to get out and start her family right now. I worry about that, but it’s probably for the best. She’s incredibly hard-headed and she just has to have her way with everything– no matter how bad it is for her and KJ. Hopefully her man will be able to keep a bit of a rein on her until she matures enough to actually listen when someone with maturity and experience tells her something. He seems really good for her. Keep your fingers crossed that I’m not wrong.

By the way, with Pee Wee there’s a whole lot of back story that I’m not telling because it’s way too personal. She and I are at a place right now where she’s getting into a lot of trouble and I can’t seem to get control of her. Her 18th birthday is right around the corner and she’s pushing every button she can with me. I’ve got to let her loose and hope for the best or turn her over to the justice system so they can screw her up some more. It’s a hard choice with her right now¹. So, try not to judge too much what you’re reading here. There’s more to that particular story than I’m willing to make public.

Anyway, I got done tonight what needed to be done for now and I’m going to head back to bed. Hopefully the mesothelioma lawyer commercial will come and go without notice so that I can sleep through until tomorrow morning. Once again, keep your fingers crossed for me.

1. And counseling is out of the question as we’ve already tried it and failed miserably. She won’t cooperate.

It’s starting to be a lot of work holding my little chubby grandson. He’s getting close to 20 lbs. already and really doesn’t like to help hold himself up. I was trying to play with him and he just kept flinging himself back onto my chest. Of course, he thinks that’s hilarious and laughs and laughs. I think to myself “Ouch!” and “Geez, boy, please sit up.” We get along perfectly.

Pee Wee is still adjusting to being a mom. I have to remind her to pick up his stuff, throw away his diapers, call the doctor and all kinds of things. It gets frustrating for both of us because she gets offended and I think she should know better. I worry about how both of them are going to manage when she moves out in a couple of months¹ because I don’t know if she’s ready for all that responsibility. But what can I do? I’m going to let her fly the nest and hope she doesn’t do a belly flop from 50 feet up.

She’s almost done with all of her school work, so that means she’ll be graduating early. And she’s talking about getting engaged to and moving in with her boyfriend. I don’t know if I approve of all of that, but she turns 18 in March so she can do whatever she wants then. I’ll be sad to miss the graduation ceremony, though. I was looking forward to that. I’ll have to wait 12 more years for Mags to graduate. They’ll probably do away with the ceremony completely by then.

A couple more months and I’ll know exactly what they mean by “empty nester”. I can’t decide if I’m excited or anxious about it. I guess it depends on the day and if Pee Wee and I are getting along. Keep your fingers crossed for her.

1. And, yes, she is moving out.