I was right when I wrote that I needed to change direction. I started off on the right foot with this blog, but apparently I’ve fallen smack on my face. This blog was started as an effort to chronicle my journey working from home, because it is a journey and because it’s damned hard. I wanted to focus my attention on that (with this blog), but about a little over a year ago I lost that focus.

Two days ago I received an email extending an invitation to apply for an online internship. I was very excited about that and put a lot of effort into 200 words—hoping that I would be chosen. I wasn’t. The email didn’t tell me that the potential interns should be internet marketing enthusiasts as well as WAHMs.

I am incredibly disappointed by that rejection but only because I’d gotten my hopes up. I didn’t realize that I should be a student of SEO and marketing when I applied, because that wasn’t made clear. I’ve learned from that experience as I’ve learned from others. I’m not going to change into a marketing student because of it, though. At least I’m not going to write about marketing because of it.

I feel that there are plenty of people writing about that subject. I feel the blogging community is inundated  with that subject. I couldn’t open my email without finding that a marketing “expert” was now following me on Twitter (That account was closed today, by the way. I’m redirecting myself.). I thought I was going to learn about marketing and how to expand my reach and… I don’t want to write about that stuff. I think if I’d have known that particular aspect of the internship I would’ve have just sent a “thank you” note and gone about my day without wasting the time applying.

I’ve been looking for ways to make more money while staying home. My eldest daughter has moved out and my youngest is getting to the age where writing about her just won’t be cute and endearing. I haven’t stopped being a mom, though. I have other interests, but am still a woman that wants to work from home.

I’ve already delved into the world of internet marketing, to an extent. I know what it takes to get the search engines to crawl your page faster, how to get your page to the top of the SERPs, how to get links and make a sale. I know where to put my ads if I want the most clicks. I know which topics to write about if I want the traffic. I know the importance of Page Rank and the reasons why Google will strip it.

I’ve already fallen for the hype that I should have more than one blog to be profitable online. And it’s not done me any kind of good. My focus and my writing has been hurt by that. I read that I should have a “niche” blog with tons of ads and that I should join this social network or that social network. I’m told to stuff my posts with keywords so that I get “organic” traffic. I’m told to comment with my keyword in my name and make use of do-follow blogs.

That’s all well and good. Except the people with whom I’d be networking in an effort to get their traffic are going to be writing about the same things. The people that care enough to make their blogs do-follow aren’t going to come clicking on anything on my blog. The only way that’s going to happen if I somehow convince some poor saps that I’m an expert. Even though I’m not.

Chipped Polish was an experiment when I first started out. And I was doing pretty good with it. But parts of that experiment have really drained me emotionally and artistically. I haven’t even bothered to redesign my site properly! I’ve been meaning to, but more fulfilling things have taken my time. I am still writing and working, but I’m not doing it here. I’m not chronicling it, because those that were interested aren’t interested in the person behind the blog. And now they’re not interested at all because Chipped Polish is both bland and a bad neighborhood.

Isn’t that funny?

Recently the company for which I do the majority of my work opened a Twitter account. It is protected and they announced they would only accept those that do work for them as followers. So, I sent a request for permission to follow. That was in March. Before I deleted that account I went back to check to see if I’d been approved (I didn’t remember seeing any updates from them).

Nope. Nada. Even those that give me work don’t want to be bothered with me. If that sounds a little whiny, it’s supposed to be. As far as why they never bothered to follow me back, I’m pretty sure that it’s because someone thinks I’m a spy for their competition. I’m not interested in that kind of idiocy, but this particular person is paranoid and no doubt believes me to have nefarious motives. Which is really funny because that same someone has no problem following my original online persona, who apparently is more trustworthy than me.

Isn’t that funny? Oh, you’ve read this far and now you’re curious? Now I have your attention?

At any rate, somewhere along the line I’ve compromised something. This persona has become distrusted in such a way that she’s believed to be a spy. I’m not exactly sure how that rumor came to be, but that’s ok. I’ve learned something. And Lizzie Flynn has learned something. I’ve learned that passion is the key and trustworthiness goes a long way—except for those with whom you are in direct competition. They will claw your eyes out and stab you in the back as soon as read a word you wrote. I’m not exactly clear when I became the foe, but I did. And now I’ve got to deal with the repercussions of that.

The good thing is that I, separate and apart, am not afraid to be confrontational and raise the hackles of others. I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I was experimenting with being professional and polite. And now I’m over that. I do my best work when I’m not overly concerned about hurting some poor sap’s feelings. I am more passionate when I’m not trying to impress the world with my professionalism. I’ve learned that being professional and making a difference doesn’t necessarily pay the bills when working online.

Depending on what happens in the next few weeks Lizzie Flynn may go the way of the wind. If I can figure out how to make this work, though, I will keep at it. I think, maybe, I’ll stop worrying about getting money from Chipped Polish and find other venues where I can explore my talent and passion. I’m not loving this blog right now because of the choices I’ve made, the people I’ve met and the focus I’ve lost—and I’m not sure if I’m going to continue with it.

P.S.

I’m not a spy for anyone. I don’t give a damned what two completely different companies are saying about each other. I’m just trying to live my own life. Occasionally I rubberneck, but there’s plenty to see. I’m reporting to no one. Perhaps a little less paranoia will go a long way to easing some stress, huh?

Time released their Top 10 Gadgets list. If you’ve got the slightest bit of geekiness flowing through your blood you’ll want to put these on your Holiday Wishlist.

#10- Belkin N1 Vision Wi-Fi Router

The Belkin N1 Vision beauty stands tall and lets you peek at online activity through network reporting. That means if your rugrat is downloading things he or she shouldn’t be you’ll be able to find out right away. It’s also super-speedy. “N” in the name means it’s kicking “G” butt and that soon what we think of super fast now will go the way of the 56k connection.

#9- Iomega eGo Portable Hard Drive

Need a lot of extra storage? The Iomega eGo holds 160GB of information. That’s 640,000 digital images. It can be connected with either USB or Firewall and has a shock absorbant cover. Now you don’t have to worry about all those pictures of Junior and his new puppy slowing down your machine- or losing those pictures if Junior decides to send the hard drive flying.

#8- FlyTech Dragonfly

If you like radio-controlled bugs, you’ll love the FlyTech Dragonfly. With it’s crash-resistant design, this toy can take a lot of punishment. Getting bored looking at blogs all day? Pick up the controller and let the bug fly because it’s designed for indoor, as well as outdoor, play. I don’t advise letting it crash haphazardly into the ceiling fans, but if it happens accidentally your Dragonfly should survive the impact.

#7- Toshiba Portégé R500-S5004

The Toshiba Portégé R500-S5004 is an ultra-light notebook that runs on an Intel Core 2 Duo processor. It has a built-in DVD burner, graphics card, and wireless capability. This is especially handy for travelers and students, because the thin design means less weight and less weight means less backaches from carrying that and everything else.

#6- Samsung P2

The P2 is a handy little player that has a 3-in. LCD screen so you can watch videos as well as listen to mp3 and WMA files. It also comes with a subscription to either Rhapsody or Yahoo! Music. If you’d rather, you can carry around your digital photos on this bad boy and when it comes time to show off your newest pics of Sally you’re ready. Soon you’ll be able to use P2 for calls too. Oh yes, finally an alternative to the iPhone.

#5- Sony Handycam HDR-CX7

The HDR-CX7 takes high-definition footage that goes straight to the memory card. No need for film or DVDS. It’s small and compact, so it won’t cause arm strain while you capture every shot your little basketball player makes. Want to record a young diva singing her heart out? This camera stabilizes your shaky hands while you get every verse on record. Then when you’re ready, connect it to your t.v. and have a show.

#4- Palm Centro

The Palm Centro supports Web surfing, text-messaging, email, instant messaging, picture taking, and even phone calls. It’s a Smart Phone without the price!

#3- Netgear SPH200W Wi-Fi Skype Phone

The SPH200 is for those who have signed up for the Skype VoIP service. This phone has Skype software already built in. Like a cell phone, you can take it anywhere. Unlike a cell phone, you need to find a Wi-Fi hotspot to use it. The phone comes with the ability to sign up for the Skype service right from the touch pad and the first 10 minutes are free. After that you have to pay via credit card.

#2- Nikon Coolpix S51c

The Coolpix S51c lets you upload your photos from the camera straight to your Flickr account, so you never run out of camera space when on vacation. All you need is somewhere to connect to the Internet and you can upload your photos safely and move on to taking even more. If you don’t have a Flickr account (why?) then you can use the Nikon photo bank to store them.

#1- Apple iPhone

Who didn’t see this one coming? The iPhone is your own little computer to go. Listen to your music, check your email, read the Times, takes some pictures, send the pictures and make some calls. You have the world in the palm of your hand. You can connect via Wi-Fi if you’re close to one, but otherwise you have to use AT&T’s connection. That’s the only limitation. Here’s hoping we’ll get to choose our own provider of iPhone service soon.

With the holidays around the corner, you might want to check out prices for these fun toys. You could make a geek very happy this year.