War of the Curtains

My sister’s mother-in-law (her husband’s mother) does a lot of shopping at high point nc fabric stores so she can sew Christmas and birthday gifts. She’s really good at it, but some of the stuff she makes just doesn’t fit the person for whom she’s making it. This would be peculiar for other families, but for this one it goes right with the flow. So, my mother and her have become really good friends over the years. When the lady comes up from North Carolina for a visit, her and my mother have a grand time (between her odd sewing issues and my mother’s yard saling, they are a perfect match of oddness). Well, the lady has decided to try to teach my sister how to sew.

My sister has never even darned a sock in her life. She’s never been at all interested in learning about this stuff, until now. My mother, on the other hand, has been sewing and crocheting since she was young, so she does pretty well and knows what’s what. That’s where the problems come in. My sister has decided that she knows more about all of this stuff than my mother and my mother is incensed that she has to listen to my sister tell my mother how to do it. Kind of like when my sister had a brief interest in gardening and wanted to tell me how to do it. Except I just laughed and ignored her. My mother doesn’t have the personality to do that.

So, here I am again. Refereeing silly fights about stitch techniques and fabric bolts and things I have zero interest in. I don’t sew either. I’ve tried and failed and gave up trying (though I do knit and crochet). I only know that my sister likes to be the one that knows the most about any given subject and my mother takes offense when my sister does that to her. It’s all pretty comical—except for the phone calls that annoy the crap out of me. I just hope they both take it upon themselves to outdo each other and make me some new bedroom curtains, because I could really use them. And I hope my sister’s mother-in-law doesn’t remember my joke about doorknob warmers in winter, because I can so see her making those for me (no doubt in Ohio State material too—ugh).

Did I mention my family is strange? Yes. I’ve learned a lot of patience with the quirks of my people, but this competition between my mother and sister, I think, will be the end of me. Unless I get something neat out of it and then I might instigate another war. All depends on who does the best curtains.