Chipped Polish

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Pay equality

Posted by Lizzie on Sep-5-2008

There’s a lot of talk about women’s issues this election cycle. Thanks to Hillary Clinton, and now Sarah Palin, we’re back in the spotlight. In that vein, Congress is pressing for a revote on the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which failed to pass previously. McCain has come out again it:

“I am all in favor of pay equity for women, but this kind of legislation, as is typical of what’s being proposed by my friends on the other side of the aisle, opens us up to lawsuits for all kinds of problems,” the expected GOP presidential nominee told reporters. “This is government playing a much, much greater role in the business of a private enterprise system.”

I’ve recently engaged in a half-hearted IT job search - in anticipation of my eventual graduation from the Tech program. There seems to be a little available, but I’ve heard that women are not treated favorably in the IT industry. It would please me, and thousands of other women, tremendously if this actually became law. Would I know that my male counterparts were making more than me? Probably not. But this act would give me recourse should I find out about a pay discrepancy after the fact. As a woman hoping to work in a male-dominated field, I would feel just a little better knowing I had a safety net.

There was some talk that this law isn’t necessary. I beg to differ. I worked with a company (unrelated to the tech field) that cut me a mystery check. When I inquired to what the purpose of the check was, I was told that it was to make up for a pay difference between me and my male counterparts. I had no idea that the men were making that much more per hour than I was, but there was a lawsuit and the settlement agreement was that this company would pay the hourly difference to each female for whatever period of time they agreed to (I think it was 3 months, even though I’d been there for over a year at that point). I left that company not long afterward, but my eyes had been opened. The reasoning for the lower pay was that women are mothers and so are prone to miss work because of their sick children. Men, on the other hand, are more reliable and should be rewarded. Really?

At a time when a major political party has nominated a self-proclaimed “hockey mom” to be vice president, there should be no more “she should get less because she’s a mom”. This woman is seeking a job while parenting 5 children (and potentially helping parent a grandchild) so the reason listed above would apply to her and her pay should be cut significantly. Right? No. Wrong. Her husband will be able to tend to the children while she runs for office and he can tend to the children while she continues to govern Alaska (except that he’s got a full-time job plus an extra job on the side in the summer, but that’s not this issue). It’s only fair that the rest of American women enjoy the same equality in pay as the women who govern them.

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Jan
20

Rubenesque

Posted by Lizzie in family, health&wellness 

I’m not a high maintenance type of person. I don’t spend gobs of money on such things as getting my nails done regularly (duh, that’s why this is called “Chipped Polish”), brazilian waxes, or tons of clothes. I do like to buy white gold jewelry and American Beauty makeup. And web hosting. These are the only things I really splurge on.

But there was a time when I wouldn’t go outside without makeup done perfectly and hair sitting just right. I was young and cute back then and lived for compliments. Then I started having kids and getting sick and all that crap was thrown out the window. I’m at a point now where I just want to absorb some knowledge and manage my pain. But it’s not hard for me to remember what I was like back then. And get irritated with myself because of it.

Yesterday, at a family gathering, we were having a conversation about body image and society’s obsession with stick-thin women. My sister, my brother’s lady and I were discussing the idea that size 2 is achievable by every woman. This isn’t true, no matter how you slice it. Seems that when any celebrity gains a little bit of weight they’re all over the news as being fat and gourging and whatever else. Of course, all the women sitting around the table are “Rubenesque“. Just round, not obese, and most certainly not stick thin. There are no bones protruding through our clothes, believe that.

I remembered when I was younger I was very thin. But not ultrai-skinny. I exercised every day, went dancing a lot, and maintained a svelt 120 lbs. (on a 5ft.1in. frame). I had “million dollar” abs and nice arms. I was “Oh-la-la”. And I worked hard to get that way. Not because I wanted to be healthy, either. Because I wanted to be cute. Goes along with the makeup and hair thing I mentioned earlier. Even though I was that thin and short I did not fit into a size 2. My hips were too wide. I wasn’t built for those types of pants and I didn’t even consider trying to get rid of my ass. I had a nice ass and liked it that way. I wore a 5. Why is that bad?

My sister has always been bigger. But she’s tall and thick boned. She’s 5ft.11in. and has never even considered wearing a size 5. She’d have to make herself deathly ill to fit into a size 2. But some people would consider that failure. Why? Her body doesn’t conform to what is considered perfection.

My other sister is like my middle sister. Thick boned. There is no way she’s going to be able to fit into those little tiny pants without starving herself. It doesn’t matter how well she eats or how much she exercises. Her body isn’t designed for the industry standard. But she’s 17. And her goal right now is to get into a size 2. She’s currently at a very healthy weight and looks good in a size 7. But she feels fat. She wants less of her so that she can wear those clothes and fit those standards. She’s getting encouragement for this insanity not only from the media (which tells teen girls that skinny is best) but from our mother- who has never, ever been happy in her own large body.

Back to the gathering. As we were discussing this and find good things to say about our bodies, my mother chimed in. “Skinny people are prettier and happier.” She gave us all the stink-eye, daring us to argue with her. She wants my youngest sister to achieve her goal of a size 2 so that she can be “happier”. Because my mother has never been skinny, and consequently suffers from depression and has never been happy, she thinks that fitting that image is what my sister needs to be happy. She said if only my little sister would lose that weight, straighten her hair, and get her skin “problem” fixed she’d be happy. What did we think of that?

I go back to remembering now. I wasn’t happy at a size 5. But not because I felt fat. It was because I could never obtain the perfection I felt was expected of me. I wasn’t pretty unless… smart unless… worthy unless… So, I worked hard at being a failure to myself- and ultimately the woman sitting next to me. Talk about a revelation.

My sister and I were smart enough not to contradict our mother. She was spoiling for a fight and would love to be the rain on a sunny day. My brother’s lady followed our lead and bit her lip. She looked from my sister to me and just kind of sighed. She’s working on her Masters and, I suppose, has had some psychology. It kind of made me feel bad, but I shrugged through it. My sister was the first to go back to our original conversation, then I followed. We pretended like our mother hadn’t said anything.

It’s taken us a long time to get to that point. A point where we realize we’re not perfect, but we’re still beautiful. And a point where we could retreat from that rain cloud and not let her ruin our mood.

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