No Time for Swelling

I’ve been having a rough time with swelling recently. It seems that every other day my physical size literally changes. One day I’m in my regular clothes, the next I’m wearing plus size clothing (because I’m not comfortable squeezing into anything). I’m worried that something might be going on with my heart in this regard. I’ve read that it could be the heart or kidneys, and since my blood pressure shoots through the roof every single time I eat something I’m figuring it’s the ol’ pump.

I want to go back to the doctor, but I’m not getting much support from home. Plus the doctor that I’m seeing now is so far away. I don’t even know if it’s worth it. I just had an echocardiogram a few months ago and everything seemed fine. Of course, my illness seems to be progressing so something probably changed. I feel like I’m on “Mystery Diagnosis” right now. It’s horrible. I really don’t think I’ll ever find out what else is wrong with me.

School is getting hard for me too. I don’t seem to be able to find the time to work, study and do the things everyone expects me to do. I don’t have an office, so I don’t have any privacy and no one feels compelled to help with Mags when I’m here. I’m thinking about using the library for my temporary office. I can go every few days and do what I need to do without a family member getting irate because I’m not hurrying up. I’m sick of fighting about it and think it will be better if I’m just not here.

I’ve seen a lot of recommendations for organizing work time at home and I can’t seem to make it work for me. I block off so much time for myself and so much time for the tot, but it just doesn’t seem to be getting done. Pretty soon she’ll be enrolled in preschool, thankfully, and I should be able to work while she’s there. No distractions then. That will be so nice.

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One Comment

  1. Posted February 3, 2008 at 3:30 am | Permalink

    First of all, you MUST see a doctor, there’s no way out of it. Otherwise, you’d be like my Dad, who never sees a doctor until he has to be carted into a hospital, and that’s really, really unsmart.

    And second, you must ration yourself some me-time for work. Be hard about it. Be an ass about it.

    I mean, if you were away at work, nobody would think about going to your workplace to pester you about silly nonsense, why should they be doing it when you work from home?

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