Re-thinking It

I’m in a lot of pain today. Pain makes me grouchy. I’m very grouchy today.

I’ve been working on some projects since this morning and I just keep getting sidetracked. Everywhere I look I get sucked in. Ok, yeah, that’s my fault, I need to stay focused. But focus is not my strong point. Neither is patience, but that’s not the point. I think I’ve been looking in the wrong direction as far as working from home goes and that’s got me all twisted around.

A couple of months ago I was very sure where I was heading. I charted my course and set sail. Then I got sidetracked by something along the way. I thought that something was a more financially beneficial course, but I think I was wrong. But only because I’m not looking just for financial incentives with this blog. And I don’t think I started it out as such. I’m a WAHM and that means I’m pretty isolated, so that means I’m looking for other WAHMs with whom to interact. All this worrying about pagerank and SEO and what have you just isn’t my thing. At least the way I was going about it isn’t my thing. So, I’m going to have to change course again.

I love to blog. Mostly because of the interesting people I’ve met over the years, but also so that my opinion gets heard. That sounds vain, and it is completely. I have something to say and shouting it out at the t.v. isn’t going to get that said. Now, when what I say gets an audience, well… Obviously that makes everything even better. When members of that audience become friends it’s like a high. That makes blogging worthwhile to me. When a stranger links to me in a favorable manner and I just stumble upon that link it makes blogging worthwhile. It means that I’m getting out becoming part of the world. Somehow along the way, I forgot about that. Or I thought I could separate that part of my blogging self from something else. I was wrong. I don’t do this to be important or to make money or to teach someone something. I do this to be a part of the world because really it’s the only way I can do that. Somehow I moved out of that part of my blogging self and into another part for which I don’t really care.

There was a time when I couldn’t be arsed about Google. I didn’t give a flying monkey’s butt if I was ranked or not. I used to write interesting opinion pieces and feel good about myself afterward. I wasn’t afraid to comment on blog posts because that blogger might consider my pr a turn off. I didn’t consider a link to someone bad because of the all might SERPs. I didn’t (still don’t, I think) even know what the hell SERPs were. But I somehow managed to keep on blogging and not feeling like my eyes were going to bleed out of my sockets. Honestly, I don’t know what I’ve been thinking lately, but it hasn’t been working. I’m very unhappy with the way I’ve been going about things.

That changes now.

My goals are the same. But my methods are going to change. If that doesn’t rank high in someone else’s opinion, then oh flippin’ well. I was doing something that worked and then I threw it out for something I thought would work better. I was wrong.